It is the fact that sometimes you have to come to terms with the reality that you are just weird. And that you, as a person, even as a loved and adored spouse, can be irritating and irrational and, I hope not often, mean.
Luckily this story has nothing to do with mean, mostly weird.
I am weird.
I am irritating (on occasion).
And it is a darn good thing that I am well loved and have a husband with a good sense of humor because these aspects of my personality come out much more frequently than I would like.
I also happen to be pregnant,
which I like to imagine causes
the increase in these unattractive qualities,
but in reality probably is just a scapegoat for me.
if I've got to surrender my body for the next 9+ months
to an alien creature
then I feel completely entitled to use
all the excuses I can think of.
Today was one of those days that I was totally indecisive. Like one minute I was saying to Andy, "I guess I'll go to the store..." and then a few minutes or an hour later I would say, "I guess I won't go to the store today." Then a few minutes later I would start the same go-round, always about going to the grocery store.
Andy patiently and sweetly ignored my contradictory prater about the grocery store. Giving a simple but genuine "okay" each time I voiced a half-formed plan out loud.
Finally toward the end of the afternoon I had to pathetically confess that I was just in a weird mood and had no idea about what I wanted to do. I rambled on and on about what might be making me think and feel so spastic. Andy listened politely and offered little to say that "no, don't worry honey, you've been completely charming and sensical all day." What could he say? I've been totally retarded!
I concluded my lengthy monologue by saying, "And I feel like a giant pregnant woman."
BONUSE MARRIAGE TIP:
At this point in our marriage
I am too smart to say anything like
"I feel like a cow."
That is much too dramatic to get a gentle response
and what man do you know that likes
to hear his beloved bride called a cow?
My husband sure doesn't.
When I say things like that he just gets mad,
like he would toward anyone else
who talked about me like that.
So I stuck with the safe description
that would communicate the same thing.
Andy's response came out immediately and forcefully, "Well that's good! Because you are!"
I know that might not come across in text with the same teasing but man-factual tone that he used, but it perfectly communicated to me that yes, I am indeed a pregnant woman and I am exactly how I should be... growing big with a baby, so get over it.
Leave it to Andy to snap me out of a funk!
And pregnancy update: I feel huge!