He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those who have young."
That is what I need at this moment.
I have been trying to push myself. To lead myself. But not gently. With guilt or with pride, or even with anger some days.
But my leading is erratic. I take long detours. I am not well planned. I try to show myself the way and I get lost.
But here is the light. I KNOW that shepherd. I am part of his flock.
And I have young!
So I get to be led gently. I get to follow someone who knows what the heck is going on!
And someone who has compassion on me in this season of my life.
I don't have to do the packing. I don't have to make the plans. I don't have to schedule a babysitter.
This trip is one that is all taken care of.
I get to follow the gracious leader.
Do you hear that?
It is a sigh of relief.
It is me setting down everything that I packed "just in case" and realizing that all the things that I need have already been taken care of.
The other great thing about gentle leading is that it implies that I am still going somewhere.
Mothering a toddler sometimes feels quite restrictive. Choices seem limited and most days I spend more time doing things that "empty my tank" than things that fill it. Sometimes I just feel stuck, like I've ground to a halt as a woman, as a wife, as a person in general.
But not so!
If I am being led (or more correctly, if I am following) that means that I am on the move. Somewhere. Anywhere. I don't know where. But I know that I'm not stuck. I'm not frozen. I'm not paralyzed.
Oh Lord! Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your compassion. Thank you for taking a life that has begun to feel lifeless and breathing your strength into it. You truly are a glorious God.