Okay, let me preface this story by saying, if you are not a mom yet, get ready now. It is a really, really gross job some times. Babies are messy, and when they get bigger they are loud. And they find every single little thing that you think is safely hidden away.
Case in point:
Jack's new favorite drawer to open happens to be the one where I, up to this point, have stashed all my feminine products. As well as any miscellaneous lotions or what have you. Now, every day Jack opens the drawer, pulls out every panty liner and tampon until he finds the pregnancy test that is left over from the last multipack I bought.
Let me reiterate, I am not intending to be pregnant, but you married ladies know that "scares" happen and if you are going to buy one, you might as well get three since you'll most likely "want to be sure" again a few months down the road anyway.
Now would also be a good time to tell you about the time ... no, never mind... that is too embarrassing.
Anyway, today I have this sweet boy in my house too:
For those of you who haven't met this handsome man, he's my nephew Dane. He comes over about once a week to hang with me and Jack while his mom and dad are at work.
I don't know if it just how babies work or what, but Dane immediately found the very same drawer that Jack has been pillaging the last week and he not only dug around in it, he removed EVERY SINGLE ITEM and stacked it neatly on the table. Resting each new find, carefully on top of the previously removed item.
His only hesitation was when he came to good ol' EPT, he also seemed to find it especially interesting and carried it around a while before giving it a home in his pile.
But that is not what "happened."
I'm sure you all remember my joyous celebration of New Years.
This is installment two of my experiences with poo.
Today, Jack was stinking it up, so I pulled him over to me and went through the usual routine of changing him. Diaper? Check! Wipes? Check! Good to go. Let the games begin!
What started as a routine operation soon became slightly more difficult when Sweet Dane crawled into my lap to see what was happening.
In an awkward moment, Dane's foot ended up in the open (and very messy) diaper. I snatched it out, but not before he swung it wildly all over the carpet.
How do these things happen?
Once again, I am cleaning excrement from my carpets.
I'm pretty sure I DID NOT sign up for this part of parenthood.
Premommies, you have been warned.