Monday, March 23, 2009

Spoken To

Yesterday, after a day of trying to reconcile my emotions to truth, I walked into church and was handed this note by a sweet friend:

"Emily, there are dreams and visions in your heart, put there by God himself.  Write them down and continue to trust the God that will complete the amazing stuff he has begun in you."

Accompanying the card was a pocket-sized notebook with "ideas... can change the world" on the cover. 

Immediately tears started to roll down my cheeks.  My sweet friend came over for a hug and told me how the gift came about.  As she escaped to Starbucks between services (she's an employee at our church and Sundays are super busy for her) for some quiet time, she saw the notebook and "just knew" she had to get it for me.  In her words, it was one of those "Holy Spirit Moments." She felt silly, but did it anyway.

I can not tell you how amazing it was to be reminded that God cares for me.  For the teeny, tiny details of my life.  

While I love motherhood, it has changed the way I dream.  Where I used to see endless possibility, I for some reason now see roadblocks and insignificance. I struggle daily to see my activities as worship, not as worthless. 

I get trapped in the smallness of my life and forget that God sees so much further than today.  

More significantly than that.  I think I also forget that God CARES.  But he does!  He sees me, he remembers me.  He is responsible for those dreams that I keep tucked away.  And, if I were very, very honest, I might say that he doesn't even want them to be tucked away, that some of them are for now, and I am just too afraid to believe that. 

In October I wrote this.  It is still fresh in my life.  I still need to remember these truths.  

My prayer for us - as women, as wives, as mothers, as lovers of Jesus - is that we would see what God is doing.  That we would see beauty, in ourselves and around us.  That we would be courageous and know truth.  That the world would be changed because of women who believe God's promises.  

I hope that today you are encouraged and that you allow yourself to be reminded of God's care.  The small things matter.  You matter. 

Peace and Joy to you friends.


emilyruth said...

this is totally the thing i have been stuck on (not in a bad way) for a while now...
my kiddos are older than your little guy so i guess that makes sense:)

it's easy to get lost in the mommy life
& that can be good
(of course! they are so great!)
but it's also so good to remember that God knows our hearts
& he placed some pretty great stuff in there apart from our families...

i think writing stuff down is the best
my notes & journaling is all over
but i think the point is just getting it out & down on a page...

i love that your friend listened to the holy spirit!
sometimes that's so hard to do...
& potentially embarrassing:)

i feel like i'm not making sense
but just know that i loved your post
& i am cheering you on from eugene:)

lots of love to you...

Michelle Ferguson said...

Amen amen amen amen.

Emily, you are amazing. I love and am continually blessed by your expressions of honesty, truth, hope and the experiences of life that find you these days. Thank you for what an inspiration you are! It really isn't about where we are geographically in life but about where we are in relation to God. He loves to surprise us :)