Friday, May 22, 2009

What Sleep-Deprivation Will Do To You

Today is one of those days.

The ones you hope you don't have often.

The ones that you don't want to look at yourself in the mirror because you know you will look like you have just been dragged, old western style, behind a horse through a dusty desert. 

I don't know why it is that kind of day.

My hair is flopping all over the place. My eyelids are droopy from insufficient sleep (ding! I think we found a reason!).

My teeth are gritted and my jaw is set against the grating sound of whining babies that refuse to be consoled.

My tee-shirt is baggy from being pulled on too many times and my pants have both banana slime and nose drippings ground into them.

In addition to the exterior mess, my mind is a little ugly as well.  I'm irritated, stewing over insults, imagined or intended, I can not tell. I am praying that my spirit triumphs and I behave in a godly fashion, but my energy is almost spent and I want to lay down on the floor, kicking and screaming. 

My usual state of serene acceptance (at least I like to think that is my usual state, please do not correct me if I am delusional) has been marred by a day of wanting more, more, more.  I need bigger, I need better, I need anything that isn't what I already have.

I can deal with the mess of my appearance, but I truly despise when my mind and emotions run away with me. I like to pretend like I'm always kind and always self-controlled and always generous. But the sad, sad reality is that I am not. I am flawed. I am a yucky person some times. Greedy and discontent. 

Luckily, there are only 24 hours in a day. Just a few more left and I can move past this flop of a Friday and get onto a less stinky Saturday.  (If you are translating this post literally, that last sentence means, "I really just want to kick someone and then go to bed, but I have to wrap things up with a nice, pretty, it-is-all-okay bow.")

In the perfectly timed order of the universe, I must go attend to both my stinky mood and Jack's reeking pants. 

Don't you just love it when things are perfectly timed?

And don't you  just wish there was a font called "sarcasm" that you could use to imply that tone of voice so people will always know what you intend to sound like when you type things?

1 comment:

emilyruth said...

if you design it
i will buy it!
i always worry about that too
like i need to make comments to make sure people know 'that was a joke! i was being sarcastic! don't hate me or think i'm crazy!'


hope your day improved!