Sunday, May 31, 2009

I Feel a Rant Coming On

I'm sitting on my living room floor, folding laundry and watching the most recent episode of What Not To Wear. You all know how much I love WNTW... but guys. I feel a rant coming on.

As they often do, Clinton and Stacy are making over a poor, sloppy mom. It happens to be "Blossom." I can't seem to remember her real name just now. I never watched Blossom, but I like the way the actress talks. She is very well spoken and uses nice, big words.

But what is making me want to rant is that she keeps saying, "I don't have time for me." "I'm such a busy mom."  Blah blah blah!!!!


I can NOT stand this refrain that is sung over and over and over to, and from, moms. I am a mom. I get messy. My clothes get ruined. I get tired some days. I spend many, many hours with a baby in tow. But it does NOT mean that I only think about me as a mom and it does not mean that Jack is my ONLY consideration when I get dressed and it most defiantly does not mean that I order my life to accommodate every single whim of the small person in my home.

Where is the balance? How did it come to be that moms are expected to be 100% about their kids, but at the same moment are bombarded with magazine articles and makeover shows helping them "fix" their "it is all about the kids" attitude?

I know we are getting into sensitive territory. Motherhood is very personal. 

In addition to wadding through all the media stores, cultural expectations and church stigmas, moms also face the physical effects of sleep deprivation and hormonal fluctuations. The combination of these factors make it so hard to make decisions that we are proud of or even feel like we have a choice in how we do things. 

But doesn't something seem amiss?

I've pondered for the last few weeks now about writing about how I've come to view motherhood and the things I've been learning as a whole woman in this season. I am finding that I have strong opinions.

However, the timing doesn't seem quite right yet.  And, truth be told, it is frightening to put my thoughts about parenting out there to be criticized and questioned. I don't want to add to the mountain of information that is really just opinion.  I KNOW that what works for me will not work for someone else. I KNOW that what works for our family this week will most likely not work next month.

But I also know that I am doing my best to listen to the Holy Spirit and am trying to approach each day with a big perspective. Letting "mother" be an appropriate part of the whole

So maybe some day I'll work up the courage to publicly put to paper where Andy and I are coming from, and more importantly,  what we're moving toward, as parents. But for today, I will simply turn off yet another show that tries to tell me that all mothers must surrender themselves, fashion and soul, to their children. 

And I will pray for the moms that I know.

Pray for courage, for peace, for freedom from lies that have worked their way into family dynamics. 

To all of you moms, and yet to be mothers, I'm cheering for you. Our roles ARE important. You ARE a great mom. And you most defiantly can be the most stunning and fresh version of YOURSELF while you parent. 



emilyruth said...

i do agree with you
(i think i do, you were a little vague since you said you are still thinking through if you want to blog about all of it specifically)
i think that i go through phases though
just like my kids...
sometimes i'm all about feeling & looking cute & having clothes that i love to be in
& sometimes i don't even want to think about it because i'm so tired
or whatever...

i have more to say
i will wait until you share your thoughts
i really am interested in your theories...
i love to hear what people think
& hope & do regarding family life...

go for it!

Emily said...

I love hearing what people think and do too. I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing out where I am now, for the very same reason that you said. I go through phases just like Jack does.

When my hormones surge, I rant. When I am sleep-deprived, I whine. When the sun shines, I cheer...

I guess what I think though, is that like you said, if you are cute, it is because you are all about it and love it and want it to be so. But if you want to be in your pajamas, it is because you want it that way, not because you have kids.

Oh, I don't know... my ranting steam has run out. :-) I don't want to harp on other moms, because really, we are all just doing what we can.

Go moms! Whatever your theory/approach/philosophy.

Michelle Ferguson said...

I really liked this post my friend. I found it freeing as a non-mom who will most likely be a mom eventually :) I appreciate your take on finding balance and I imagine I will seek your wisdom eventually when I am striving to find that "mom balance" of my own :)