Caught!

This afternoon Jack was playing in the garage with an empty coffee cup.

Confused as to where he found it I said, "Hey buddy, where did you get that cup?"

He looked at me like "Geez mom, where do you think?"

Then he answered my query and said, "Starbucks."

Oh dear.

I may have kept him from the frenzy of the golden arches, but this child already knows too much about my drive-thru vice.

As a side note,

I thank the Lord

that someone finally

decided that Starbucks

should offer drive-thrus.

The have saved

many a day from a disastrous end.

Warning: I have no coherent thought here

I know you are dying to hear my decision about coffee. It is really quite lame. I'm sorry to disappoint you.

I must have been having a desperate sort of day. 

But my current decision regarding the lovely beverage is to, as Michelle and Emily G. said, INDULGE.

I'll still have a cup in the morning.  But skip the attitude of desperation.  I DO NOT need it to get me through.  I don't need to reach for it thinking, "I'm SO tired.  I just can't make it!"  Instead why not think to myself, "What a luxurious life I lead.  I'm just sitting on my couch (floor) in the  middle of the day enjoying a sweet coffee treat.  Lucky me!"?  

Most  likely I will be holding the mug above my head as a little mover and shaker crawls all over me trying to get it.  But that in itself is somehow very delightful.

Savor.

Savor these days.  

And savor my choices.  

Today I choose coffee.

Now that that boring business is wrapped up let me tell you about Jack's game.  

He likes to pretend he's blind.

Okay, really, he has no idea what "blind" is or what "pretend" is.  So I am just making that up.  But it is still very funny.  

At random moments throughout the day, especially while I'm holding him or while were playing a game on the floor 

(our newest

is to open the

kitchen cupboards

and pull out every tupperware,

bowl,

pan

that is housed there.

Yippee!

Slight sarcasm.

Sorry.

Savor.

Right.

Back to the story.)

He will look up at me, close his eyes into a tight squint and then shake his head.  He looks so silly when he does it!  I've tried to capture it with the camera, but there is now way to get it.  He squints so tightly for a moment and then pops his eyes wide and laughs and laughs.  He'll do it over and over.  Close his eyes, open them, look for me, laugh, close them tight again.  

This is the closest I can get.  

Just imagine him one second later with a bright and wild face giggling. 

My favorite is when he is in a dancing mood and is shaking his head wildly from side to side (his version of dancing) and then tries to close his eyes at the same time.  He loses his balance and does a very wobbly head-shaky-fall down move, but always opens his eyes very happily.  

He is a pretty awesome baby.  

Although I am just realizing that in less than three months he will turn ONE.  Most likely he'll walk in the next month and in a few short years he will be on a wrestling team.

I've been educated

 that wrestling for kids starts at 4,

 a full year before actual school.

 Am I okay with my baby

 who is not even old enough to be formally educated

 being trained in the art of battle?

You bet.

You would be too

 if you saw how excited his daddy is

 to be involved that way.

I have a husband who is eager to

play with, invest in and love his son.

There is no way I am going to say no to that!

Soon our baby will become a toddler.  

And I'm sure the games will get messier, the crying will get louder (What? Jack cries? No!  Well, yes he does.  But only a little. Really.) the cuts and bruises will get bigger and he'll become more and more a little boy.  

But I'm okay.  I really am.  Because as he gets bigger he'll learn to say things like, "I love you mommy."  He'll trace his hand on a piece of paper and make it into a turkey.  He'll help me make cookies and accidentally pour flour all over us and the floor.  

I'm looking forward to that. 

Today, life is good.  I'm relishing my hot coffee and feeding my baby mangos and pears and sharing my days, in a small way, with friends and future mothers.  My heart is full.

Thanks for letting me share the chaotic musings of a new mummy.  They need to go somewhere. 

In token of my gratitude I will leave you with small descriptions of Jack's other favorite games of the week:

• Sneaking into the bathroom and unrolling the toilet paper.
• Practicing his screaming, which at this point, thankfully, is mostly a squeak.
• Kissing other babies.
• Clapping. He's the best clapper I know.
• Yay for clapping!
• Saying "BOP" over and over.
• "Weight lifting" his big blue plastic ball.
• Playing "speed peek-a-boo."

Also.  

Remember when I found 45 bobby pins by my bed?  I found one in my shoe the other day.  I think I have a problem.

Please Advise

I've woken up with a headache the last few days.  It isn't normal for me, so it has me pondering.

It could be this of course.

But do you know what I think it really is?  

I'm afraid to admit it.

I think I have a problem with caffeine.

I didn't drink coffee until I was pregnant with Jack.  But since then, I've sucked it down.  I went through a very expensive phase when I had an Iced Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks, everyday. 

My budget couldn't handle that, so I quit.  But I've replaced it with an iced chai every morning (made at home).  Lately I've been adding a cup of coffee or a second caffeinated tea in the early afternoon.

I think when I wake up, my body is saying, with a headache, "Hey! It has been hours since you've feed us that sweet, sweet coffee!  Get on it already!"

So here are my options:

1. Give up coffee and caffeinated tea all together.  Cold turkey.  Free myself completely from this evil affliction. 
   
2. Switch to decaf options.  (The problem I have with this is that I still add a ton of sugar and milk to my coffee, so I'm still pumping myself full of not-so-good-for-me-calories.)
   
3. Drop the coffee (with all the add-ins) and stick with tea.
4. Don't care at all and give into the addiction.  After all, I live in Seattle.  I'm not the only one with this problem. 
   

So?

Friends.  

What am I to do?  My decision making skills are clouded by my recent ardor of dark brown and creamy beverages. 

Please advise.

Now, if you will excuse me.  I have half a cup of chai that needs my undivided attention.

Permission

At 11:00 this morning I was pretty sure that I was a domestic wonder woman.  I had already been to the gym, done a load of dishes, baked whole wheat pumpkin muffins (which I have yet to taste) and made my own pumpkin spice latte to save myself $3.40. Mentally I was making plans to walk Jack to the store to pick up some fresh, crusty bread for the gourmet dinner I plan on making this evening, clean Jack's room (a project that has been on my list for... um.. about three months) and tackle the laundry.   

A beautiful autumn day can inspire like that.

However, it is now after 3:00 pm and I'm tired folks. My sink is already full of the next load of dishes which has squelched my cleaning motivation and Jack is uncommonly cranky and needy which makes it very difficult to settle into a major project. 

Sigh.  

So I've changed my plans.  

I'm just going to go with the flow.  

No one has asked me to be a domestic diva.  That is all my own ambition (and perhaps not a holy one).  

I have a sweet boy who I think would really enjoy a walk to the park and a ride on the swing.  I have a loving husband who will be home soon and will rave over whatever meal I put in front of him.  I have a house that is warm and will survive yet another day of disorder. 

So why stress?  I made muffins right? I say that is a pretty great accomplishment for the day.  

So if you are having one of those days too, where your "I'll hopefully get this done today" list is woefully un-checked, I hereby give you permission to set it aside.  Order is good.  Accomplishment is good.  But friends, let's be okay with just having fun once in a while.  

So, be free!  Frolic and delight in the simple pleasures of today.  The lists can wait until tomorrow.  

Good Tidings or Fall Is Here: Part I

Yesterday I ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte (two actually, but I was REALLY excited).

I also wore a scarf (which I had to remove because it is still too warm) to a high school football game (Who rocks the house?  The Panthers rock the house!).

So you do know what that means?  Pumpkin Spice + Scarf + Football = FALL!!!

It's here!  It's here! *Little prancing circular dance to commence after I press "publish post"*

Hooray!

Confession

I like the phrase, "I confess..." If is kind of cleansing, like throwing away clothes that don't fit or cleaning out the fridge.  

I confess, I like looking in the mirror and saying to myself, "What a beautiful girl!"

I confess, after years of loudly proclaiming my dislike of coffee, I now need at least one cup a day.  I really don't know how that happened.  I think it started with the Pumpkin Spice latte...

I confess, I'm "one of those moms" who babbles nonsense words to her baby.

I confess, my son's name is Jack.  Yesterday I called him Jake.  

I confess, I spent all day yesterday angry about something ridiculous.  I cried.  I seethed. I held full conversations in my head that only fueled the fire.  And then, I gave up.  I decided not to have those conversations and not to be consumed by my feelings of self-justification, self-pity, hurt, frustration... all the yucky ones.  What started as a horrible day, ended with laughter and camaraderie. 

I confess, that was hard work.  It took a whole day of internal fighting and choosing to not be ruled by my emotions. But it was SO worth it.