Warning: I have no coherent thought here

I know you are dying to hear my decision about coffee. It is really quite lame. I'm sorry to disappoint you.

I must have been having a desperate sort of day. 

But my current decision regarding the lovely beverage is to, as Michelle and Emily G. said, INDULGE.

I'll still have a cup in the morning.  But skip the attitude of desperation.  I DO NOT need it to get me through.  I don't need to reach for it thinking, "I'm SO tired.  I just can't make it!"  Instead why not think to myself, "What a luxurious life I lead.  I'm just sitting on my couch (floor) in the  middle of the day enjoying a sweet coffee treat.  Lucky me!"?  

Most  likely I will be holding the mug above my head as a little mover and shaker crawls all over me trying to get it.  But that in itself is somehow very delightful.

Savor.

Savor these days.  

And savor my choices.  

Today I choose coffee.

Now that that boring business is wrapped up let me tell you about Jack's game.  

He likes to pretend he's blind.

Okay, really, he has no idea what "blind" is or what "pretend" is.  So I am just making that up.  But it is still very funny.  

At random moments throughout the day, especially while I'm holding him or while were playing a game on the floor 

(our newest

is to open the

kitchen cupboards

and pull out every tupperware,

bowl,

pan

that is housed there.

Yippee!

Slight sarcasm.

Sorry.

Savor.

Right.

Back to the story.)

He will look up at me, close his eyes into a tight squint and then shake his head.  He looks so silly when he does it!  I've tried to capture it with the camera, but there is now way to get it.  He squints so tightly for a moment and then pops his eyes wide and laughs and laughs.  He'll do it over and over.  Close his eyes, open them, look for me, laugh, close them tight again.  

This is the closest I can get.  

Just imagine him one second later with a bright and wild face giggling. 

My favorite is when he is in a dancing mood and is shaking his head wildly from side to side (his version of dancing) and then tries to close his eyes at the same time.  He loses his balance and does a very wobbly head-shaky-fall down move, but always opens his eyes very happily.  

He is a pretty awesome baby.  

Although I am just realizing that in less than three months he will turn ONE.  Most likely he'll walk in the next month and in a few short years he will be on a wrestling team.

I've been educated

 that wrestling for kids starts at 4,

 a full year before actual school.

 Am I okay with my baby

 who is not even old enough to be formally educated

 being trained in the art of battle?

You bet.

You would be too

 if you saw how excited his daddy is

 to be involved that way.

I have a husband who is eager to

play with, invest in and love his son.

There is no way I am going to say no to that!

Soon our baby will become a toddler.  

And I'm sure the games will get messier, the crying will get louder (What? Jack cries? No!  Well, yes he does.  But only a little. Really.) the cuts and bruises will get bigger and he'll become more and more a little boy.  

But I'm okay.  I really am.  Because as he gets bigger he'll learn to say things like, "I love you mommy."  He'll trace his hand on a piece of paper and make it into a turkey.  He'll help me make cookies and accidentally pour flour all over us and the floor.  

I'm looking forward to that. 

Today, life is good.  I'm relishing my hot coffee and feeding my baby mangos and pears and sharing my days, in a small way, with friends and future mothers.  My heart is full.

Thanks for letting me share the chaotic musings of a new mummy.  They need to go somewhere. 

In token of my gratitude I will leave you with small descriptions of Jack's other favorite games of the week:

• Sneaking into the bathroom and unrolling the toilet paper.
• Practicing his screaming, which at this point, thankfully, is mostly a squeak.
• Kissing other babies.
• Clapping. He's the best clapper I know.
• Yay for clapping!
• Saying "BOP" over and over.
• "Weight lifting" his big blue plastic ball.
• Playing "speed peek-a-boo."

Also.  

Remember when I found 45 bobby pins by my bed?  I found one in my shoe the other day.  I think I have a problem.