I currently have a very troublesome problem. I have a deep-seated and unrelenting desire to visit a beautiful, perfectly-lit world called "Target."
The problem??
I live in Cambodia.
I eagerly await your solution!
~hopeful shopper
Dear Hopeful Shopper,
I regret to inform you that there is no substitute for the phenomenon of Target. However, I do not wish you to lose hope. Consider practicing one, or all, of the following coping techniques:
Denial. Repeat after me. "There is no Target. There is no Target." When you return to the States, it will be a wonderful surprise to discover that there is, in fact, Target.
Visualization. Set aside a small, bright section of your home or office for "Targeting." Turn on as many lights as you are able, then close your eyes. Imagine you are strolling the aisles of the shopping mecca. What would you smell? Hear? Touch? Let your mind's eye explore each aisle, with every imaginary turn satisfying your desire for a true shopping experience. You may find it helpful to hold a broom handle in both hands, parallel to the ground, to simulate the feel of pushing a shopping cart and further enhance this mental exercise.
Staging. If possible, paint a large red logo of concentric circles on a prominent wall of your bedroom. You could go so far as to hang oversized, shiny signage from your ceiling with fishing wire or to label each of your room furnishings with a price, printed in a bold red font. These small adjustments to your living space will bring you peace as you patiently wait for you next opportunity to visit a Target location.
Self-exploration. Take a moment to ask yourself, "Why do I want to go to Target?" Is it the familiarity? Is it the sensory experience? Is it the excuse to spent much more money than you originally planned because of the alluring colors and displays? After you have determined the source of this issue, you will be better able to address it. For example, if it is simply the need to part with your funds, I am sure that you could find a willing partner to surrender your dollars to and relive you of the burden of over-cashed pockets.
Hopeful, I trust that you will find these strategies helpful. Remember, these techniques will only help you when you fully give yourself to them. Practice, practice, practice. You may find, that after several weeks of mental conditioning, you are no longer burdened by your desire for the store. I wish you luck in your endeavor.
Sincerely,
Fancy
