A blue tri-fold brochure/advertisement with a giant number one on the cover and titled "Birthday Party Planner" from ToysRUs.
Okay, before I even look inside, I know this is going to be silly. Call me crazy, or no fun, but I don't really think Jack needs a big blow-out birthday this year. Yes, I am truly and amazingly grateful that he has been born and I love celebrating the wonderful little man that he is, but really? Except for the classic cupcake-frosting-messyface-sugarhigh picture (don't even get me started on the cupcakes) that I keep to show his future wife, he will have absolutely no idea what the party is all about.
But wait, the card gets better.
Some highlights from the first page:
"Somebody special is turning one! It's been an amazing year filled with firsts. Now, it's time to get ready for the event of the year!"
Okay. Pause. The event of the year? Um. I don't think so. Sorry Jack.
Here's what you can get from Geoffrey's (the ToysRUs giraffe mascot) Birthday Club:
Birthday cards, suprise gifts and phone calls from Geoffrey
In-store celebrations with balloons...
Annual Party Planners with savings opportunities
Here is what the party planner advises me to do to plan the perfect first birthday party...
EIGHT WEEKS before (seriously?) make my guest list and set the date, place and THEME. Really? Jack's favorite toy right now is an empty tennis ball tube. What would the theme be? Trash that can be toys?
Four weeks and counting, of course, make my gift registry at ToysRUs... and to the rest of the planning stuff
Two weeks to go, order cake and balloons (aren't they they #1 choking hazard? Or is that hot dogs?).
Three days before the "event of the year" call and remind anyone who has not responded to your invitation ("Hi, this is Jack's mom. I'm just wondering what you have against my son? I mean, this IS his FIRST birthday party. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you just forgot. We'll see you Saturday at 1:00pm SHARP. Please remember that we have registered at ToysRUs. Thank you.").
I don't think this list will really work for us.
Also included in this handy dandy dual-purpose planner/advertisement is a checklist of the planning ESSENTIALS, which apparently include, but are not limited to:
A commemorative bib
A helium tank
Pinata (for a ONE year old?!)
Okay, I'm sorry, I know I've been a little snide, but doesn't this all seem silly to you? Anyone? Is this really what motherhood has become? Throwing the perfect first birthday. If so, count me out.
Luckily, I am surrounded by friends and family who simply love me as a mom, and love Jack as the wonderful baby he is. We celebrate each milestone as it comes (by the way, my baby boy is WALKING!) and pray daily that he grows up loving God and growing in wisdom.
Jack's first birthday IS approaching, but I'm pretty sure we'll celebrate sans pinata.
After all, does this boy looks like he needs centerpieces and party favors to be happy: